What an adventure life is! Just when you think you have it figured out, strange mystical experiences happen that turn your world upside down. This is where I found myself at 27 years of age when my grandmother who had passed away, appeared 2 days later standing by my bed, jarring me out of a sound sleep. She was peaceful and serene with a soft light around her illuminating the bedroom. Having watched too many horror movies as a teen, I naturally responded by diving under the covers and pulling the blankets over my head, while trying to cuddle up to my husband's back. As I opened my eyes I could still see the soft light through the covers. My brain was trying to understand what was happening, while my heart was praying it had all been a terrible mistake and Grandma was alive and here to reassure me.
I found myself saying to her "I'm sorry but I am too scared". She did not say a word, but instead gently wrapped her arms around me and kissed my head. As tears streamed down my face, I realized she had come to say good-bye. I told her I loved her and that I was sorry I had not come out to visit her sooner. I had just talked with her on the phone 10 days before she passed. I had kept getting a feeling that I should call her, which was strange because the two of us were never close. At the time I was healing from having a miscarriage and was not in the mood to talk to anyone. Finally after a couple of days of having this nagging feeling I dialled her number. When she did not answer the phone after several rings I thought she must be out, but then her weak voice said hello. Alarmed I asked her if she was alright. She dismissed me saying she was just getting over a flu that she had been fighting for a couple of weeks. After I talked with her I immediately phoned my dad and told him that something was seriously wrong with Grandma. She lived in a different province so he called a sibling to check on their mother. She was later taken to see a doctor and after her blood work came back she was rushed to the city hospital. It turned out she did not have a flu after all but a rare and aggressive cancer. She passed away shortly after.
The night she appeared by my bed, all the feelings I never expressed burst out of my heart as I realized I would never have another opportunity to tell her in person. A gentle peace filled my heart and I knew she loved me unconditionally. As she held me the heavy grief in my heart eased and I felt myself relax into her arms being comforted as if I was a little girl again. Then as suddenly as she appeared she was gone and the soft glow faded away. I could not fall back asleep and instead laid awake trying to understand what had just happened until exhaustion finally drew me back into sleep's comforting peace.
The next morning I found myself clutching a steaming cup of coffee with rich cream and sugar swirling beneath my spoon. We had arrived at my parents house the day before, preparing for the funeral that was drawing near. With little sleep I was hoping the caffeine would bring clarity and understanding to my experience. When my mom asked how I slept I hesitated for a moment, then said "I had the most vivd dream. I dreamt Grandma had stood at my bedside then gave me a hug.". Embarrassed I tried to shrug off the event. My dad quietly said "She came to say good-bye.". I just looked at him, my heart filled with love as I saw the grief in his eye's from losing his mother. "Do you think so?" I had asked. Dad just smiled and said anything is possible.
Slowly I returned to my regular life forgetting about that night. I did not remember it for many years, until I reread one of my journals. At the time other intuitive experiences were starting to happen that I could not explain. Looking back this was a major turning point, though it took a few more years for me to fully accept that my intuition had led me to call my Grandmother or that my Grandmother's Spirit had come to say good bye that evening in April. Embracing my intuitive gifts has been a slow process. At times I completely ignored my intuition, which almost lead to a violent assault in a dark grocery parking lot if an Angel had not intervened. But that will be a story for another post. My point is that intuition, seeing spirits and premonitions are not discussed or typically believed. Those of us who have these gifts sometimes do not feel as if they are gifts at all but over active imaginations, we will even question our mental health. So we hide. We don't talk about them to others for fear of judgment. It is only when a friend, family member, colleague or other intuitive spots the signs and gently helps us to understand what is occurring.
For myself it was a friend who suspected I had abilities I did not understand and encouraged me to take an energy healing workshop. Never having attended one I was apprehensive. To top it off I ended up sitting right beside the instructor. In the middle of her morning introduction she turned to me and told me quietly "Yes spirits are real, but don't be scared of the ones that have been appearing in your home, you are safe. I will explain this later to you". Dumb founded I sat their with my mouth hanging open, since that was the reason I had even come to meet her! For the first time I realized I was not alone, and over the course of the weekend she encouraged me to embrace my abilities. From there I took various course, attending workshops, read extensively, learned how to use oracle cards, pendulums and honed my intuitive abilities. I have been blessed with many amazing experiences. I believe we are here, to share our unique gifts with the world and by doing so we light the way for those who are still finding their way.